Secret Robot Army

Excellent Progress On Robotic Sentries: Wrestlemania!

2007-07-29T13:55:00.000-04:00

Words fail to describe this footage, really.

The general public has gradually come to accept that computers can completely kick ass over hairless primates in Chess.

Well, now give it another 5 years or so, and lets put whomever is in the lead of the UFC (or a heavyweight boxer) against a full size version of one of these babies.

OBSERVE.

Ancestors of the Secret Robot Army

2007-07-29T13:45:00.001-04:00

When we consider the rapid pace at which the machines will take over, we must consider the history of the superiority of automated weaponry.

The recent discovery of a V1 proto-cruise-missile in London prompted S.R.A researches to investigate.

Check this--> http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/V-1_flying_bomb#Assessment

Similar damage inflicted as the London Blitz, with no offensive casualties whatsoever.

The future, as glimpsed by the past.

More V1 info here.

Your Future.

2006-07-19T00:45:00.000-04:00

We Have Human Face to Robot Arm-Probe Contact.

Open Your Mouth. You have no seconds to comply.

http://www.engadget.com/2005/10/05/bomb-squad-robot-inspects-bank-robbers-mouth/

Mini Spy Plane For The Jr. Dr. Dooms out there...

2006-03-10T11:52:00.000-05:00

So, 150 bucks, and this baby will fly over whatever you want and take digital photographs.

Start saving your pennies. http://www.walmart.com/catalog/product.do?product_id=4196237
(how appropriate that evil walmart is selling it...)

video here!!--> http://www.smarthome.com/95621.html

we don't need stinking fleshbag pilots to kill you

2006-03-10T11:50:00.000-05:00

Ah, someday robot planes will kick back and eat DVD's of Top Gun for snacks, giggling.

Weakl and feeble fleshbag pilots can only pull a handful of G's, wearing special pants and groaning the whole time like they were olympically-constipated.

Robot pilots bust with G's that would be Fatal to Maverick, Iceman, and Kenny Loggins, and just keep on hunting you down till they're good and done.

Get ready.

http://www.defensetech.org/archives/002005.html

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dassault_Neuron

Autonomous Flesh Eating Robots

2006-03-10T11:47:00.000-05:00

Yeah, talk about humble beginnings.

For now, flesh eating robots eat flies, and attract them "...using a stinking lure concocted from human excrement."

But, soon enough, they will hunt you down and eat you to get more go-power.

http://www.newscientist.com/article.ns?id=dn6366

Undersea Secret Cyborg Army

2006-03-08T20:18:00.000-05:00

According to this article, the US military is currently working on one of the stealthiest of SecretRobotArmy projects. An implant in the brain of sharks that will allow them to be controlled remotely.

Now, while we have no reports on the cost of such a project, or on any weapons adaptations, we at SecretRobotArmy want them!

As the article points out, these sharks could become the ultimate in underwater surveillance. They are self-sustaining, silent, fast, and freakin cool. These could be used for patrols around your secret island fortress, or to patrol the water ways of the city you just took over.

As far as using them for protection, there are two visions that we have. Of course, we have the Dr. Evil idea of freakin lasers on their freakin heads. And the other is to somehow control their desire to attack.

Seperate or combined, these are both fantastic ways to rid yourself of any frogmen that may be trying to penetrate your SecretRobotArmy.

Remember, proper surveillance is a requirement to maintain control over anything. Your SecretRobotArmy is only as good as your intelligence!

Slightly more in-depth article on our stealthy underwater minions----> muha..muhahahhaaaaaaaaaaaa
Plus, if you or your droids read the article carefully, you'll see that mind control is not just for sharks anymore! Nope! WE GOT RATS baby.

Sanitary Sentries

2006-03-06T18:18:00.000-05:00

We at SecretRobotArmy have been discussing imaginative and unexpected ways to expand a secret robot army. In a random chat session, the idea of the iRobot Roomba (http://www.irobot.com/) being programmed to attack if the cleanliness of the room became a threat.

"Wipe your feet. Wipe your feet. You have thirty seconds to comply."

While it sent us off on a good laugh, we are actually a little bit late to this idea! This article in The Boston Globe describes a movement that puts us at the tail-end of home-built Secret Robot Army technology!

Apparently they are being hacked and being used as home security devices with cameras and wireless internet connections. Picture the small drone robots (mouse droids) that zip around the Death Star in Star Wars.

You could further hack them to include sirens, and RFID scanners. If a guest comes into your house/compound/secret island fortress, they are given a security card. If the robot encounters a human, they are scanned. If they do not have a valid RFID badge, the intruder alert is sounded.

And, of course, we have all already thought of adding a firearm. No news of it yet, but we'll be watching the forums on this kind of activity ( http://www.roombareview.com/chat/index.php )

(Yes, we will be doing a write-up on the truly military applications provided by iRobot Corporation. They provide robots such as the R-Gator: Autonomous Unmanned Ground Vehicle, as well as bomb diffusers, and I've even heard wind of a bot of theirs locating and targeting snipers.

And that's really what every leader of a Secret Robot Army needs by their side.)

Remote Control Mini Assault Helicopter

2006-03-03T22:22:00.000-05:00

This Site (www.defensereview.com) is an advertisement for one of the absolute necessities of any Secret Robot Army.

This remote control gunship is gas powered and fully programmable. It also sports a fully automatic 12-gauge shotgun/grenade launcher. Of course, it's armed with the right camera options with video or IR/thermal.

And it costs less than $100,000.

If these items were to be purchased in quantities of a dozen, you could control a couple city blocks. Quantities of a hundred and you control a city. One billion bucks buys you ten thousand of 'em.

These babies can be used for crowd control, surveillance, assassinations, escorts, building/location security, and even personal security.

This is the foot soldier of every secret robot army. A must have.

(And, yes, they are working on mounting a second fully automatic shotgun/grenade launcher.)